As you may or may not know, Tiger Woods will be in my neck of the woods (hee!) tomorrow to issue some kind of statement about his future. It is Tiger's first public appearance since being turned into a CGI attack victim on Asian television and he will only be reading a statement. No questions will be allowed.
So what's he going to say? There's no doubt that it'll be carefully constructed PR spin to help rebuild his "image" and he'll apologize to his family, friends, sponsors, fans, and the PGA Tour.
And it'll be complete bullshit.
Tiger Woods doesn't want to apologize for being Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods doesn't want to go to sex rehab. And quite clearly, Tiger Woods doesn't want to be married. Tiger Woods wants to play awesome golf and bang hot chicks that look like Barbie dolls. The only apology he should have to make is to his wife and kids, and that apology should simply be that he's sorry he fell into society's trap of making people feel like they should settle down and do the marriage thing. He should be sorry that he promised her a monogamous relationship, because it's not what he wanted.
I mean, it's perfectly clear Tiger never had any interest in monogamy. By all accounts he was cheating on his wife seconds after the honeymoon. He was cheating on her every chance he got. And yes, it's a shitty thing to do to his wife since certainly they had no agreement that he could do anyone he wanted whenever he wanted. If he wanted an open relationship then he should have married someone who would have allowed it. Problems solved.
But now he's going to go the spin route and apologize to us all. Like I said, the only people he should apologize to is his family for selling them a misrepresented bag of goods. He should get divorced, pay his wife off for his mistakes, and then get back to kicking ass at golf and taking names in hotel suites in Vegas. A blanket apology tomorrow is even more embarrassing and dishonest than what got him to the press conference in the first place.