The Christmas Coal Mine Miracle (also known by the less catchy title of Christmas Miracle in Caufield, USA) is mostly standard 1970s TV movie family fare. There's a small mining town, a greedy mine owner, hardworking families, an explosion, a cave in, a rescue, Melissa Gilbert... you know, all the usual trappings. Those of you hoping for the story of how Santa mines the coal to put in the stockings of the Kardashians and any other evildoers will have to look elsewhere.
Mixed in with the usual holiday coal mining tragedy melodrama though are two notables. First is li'l Kurt Russell, playing a local teen angry at the coal mine for being too dangerous and stuff. That was really the only reason I watched this, as I wanted to see Russell right before he did his acclaimed Elvis TV-movie. The range between the two performances is impressive.
The other notable feature of the flick is something I don't think anyone batted an eye at when it was released but now it seems awfully risque, particularly for something promoted as a family film. Russell's 18 year old girlfriend runs away from home at the start of the movie and delivers herself to him as his Christmas present. Russell turns her down, and she starts yammering about how she desperately needs to get out of town, lose her virginity and get a baby in her. Russell understandably looks at her like she needs to be locked up, so she challenges his manhood, proclaiming he must not have any "manly needs".
The subplot runs through the rest of the film. Her main desire is to leave town by any means necessary, but apparently her biological clock just exploded at the same time and so she continues to bitch about being a virgin to anyone within earshot. And between the tears and misunderstood sex talks with her mother, everyone in town seems quite pleased in telling her family members that she'll clearly be knocked up soon and what a glorious day that'll be for all. It's so damn creepy. It's like the whole town is rooting for this girl to get pregnant yet none of them seem to want to help get her there.
Hoping your friends' daughter gets knocked up as soon as possible by someone other than yourself so she can flee your hick town and go to a real city... isn't that what Christmas is all about?
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