This summer I've been running a spin-off from my Worst Movie Scenes series on YouTube called Worst Sexy Movie Scenes. In it I've been showcasing some laughable moments from such quality titles as Hookers in a Haunted House, Bikini Airways, Bikini Girls From the Lost Planet, Cleavagefield, and more.
It's been a little derisive, to say the least. Some vocal subscribers seem to think that Skinemax-level flicks shouldn't be included in the series since they're not "real" films and are mostly expected to be laughable. There was a time that I agreed with them. But this is just something fun to do over the summer, and there ARE hilariously bad moments in these movies that are fun to laugh at in between shots of titties. I guess the difference between one of these and say, Caligula, is that the filmmakers aren't trying to be serious. (Plus, I'm watching nothing but Godzilla movies over the summer, and it's either these videos or nothing at all. So shut yer pieholes.)
I disagree with those that say all these movies are exactly the same though, because they're not. Case in point: 1995's Bikini Drive-In. Directed by Fred Olen Ray, the same prolific auteur who directed Bikini Airways, Bikini Girls From the Lost Planet and literally 100 other movies, Bikini Drive-In tells the story of Kim Taylor (Ashlie Rhey) who inherits a dilapidated drive-in theater from her dead grandfather (played in a photograph by John Carradine). She has exactly one weekend to make $25,000 to pay off the bank, all while greedy land developers want to snatch the place for themselves. Meanwhile the greedy land developer's son has taken a liking to Kim, and helps her and her friends raise the money by running a special weekend of bikini babes and grindhouse flicks.
Perhaps it's the time capsule factor coming into play, or maybe it's because in comparison to some of these T&A flicks I've been speeding through lately it's like Citizen Kane, but Bikini Drive-In is a decent little exploitation comedy. Sure the softcore sex scenes are shitty and easily skippable, and the rock hard fake boobs of the 90's are just hideous to look at. Don't get me wrong, it's not a "good" movie in the grand scheme of things, but it is an entertaining entry into this type of genre.
An example of the time capsule fun...
What the hell was up with jeans in the 90s? Why did women think it was hot to wear denim up to their underboobs? Also, why did women wear bikini bottoms that somehow latched onto their ribcages, mid-torso?
Perhaps it's just the old man in me at this point, hanging onto things in the past, but I firmly believe that B-movie actors of 15 years ago are vastly superior to the B-movie actors of today. There are some genuinely decent performances in this film and that helps class things up a bit.
Many of the film's jokes and plot points are predictable, such as the nerdy girl (Nikki Fritz) who simply changes into a bikini and becomes instantly hot (complete with tan and ridiculous fake tits), but I don't know... it all seemed somewhat charming in retrospect. Sure there's a lot of groan-inducing humor, but there are also some lines and bits that actually made me laugh out loud. The town sheriff who shows up near the end of the film was particularly amusing, as were the brief snippets of the movies being shown at the drive-in.
I guess my point is that not all softcore flicks are bad. I think the filmmaking climate has probably changed a bit these days for guys like Ray, who probably shoots all his latest stuff in five business days and edits over the weekend. But 15 years ago, when you could put a couple of weeks into a movie like this? Now that's quality.
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